One of our greater goals in yoga is to develop compassion, empathy for all living organisms, including ourselves.
Who among us has no trouble feeling compassion for others, but when it comes to feeling compassion for yourself, you fall short?
I find it easier to consider other people’s weaknesses than my own; I openly forgive other people’s flaws while I punish myself for mine. I easily feel empathy and compassion for others’ pain, but I struggle to console and be kind to myself.
In general, our culture lacks self-acceptance and compassion, as evidenced by the hundreds of self-help books, seminars, and workshops on the topic.
Our world is rife with self-alienation, and we must strive to love ourselves.
Isn’t that amusing? We must learn to accept and appreciate ourselves. But, sadly, the majority of us are not. We must learn to treat ourselves with the same loving-kindness, forgiveness, and empathy that we lavish upon those we care for.
What Is Maitri?
Maitri is one of the first Four Immeasurables, or Infinite Ones, which are Buddhist virtues that can be cultivated by insight meditation.
Maitri, which means loving-kindness to oneself, is the pillar of the four virtues and is most widely translated as love or loving-kindness. Including
- Loving Kindness
- Compassion
- Sympathetic Joy
- Equanimity
How Do You Befriend Yourself?
As previously stated, each of the Four Immeasurables has a corresponding meditation practice to aid in the development of each virtue. Repeat the affirmation: “May I be content, good, peaceful, and live with ease” for Maitri against oneself.
Repetition is important, as is catching yourself when you aren’t being so nice to yourself. You may recite any of those four slogans loudly or silently as needed during the day.
It’s a very powerful practice for breaking negative habits, particularly habitual negative or self-deprecating thinking, and it really helps if you’re in a downward negative spiral.
Positive Affirmations
- If you find yourself in a destructive thought loop, repeat to yourself, “May I be happy.”
- If you’re having physical difficulties, say aloud, “May I be safe and healthy.”
- If you’re in an abusive relationship, say out loud, “Can I be protected.”
- If you are feeling nervous or stressed, repeat to yourself, “Can I live with ease.”
We should all be a bit more gentle and kind to ourselves. Stop and practice maitri the next time you find you’re not treating yourself with the same acceptance, understanding, and compassion you would a friend.
How To Deal With Them?
Be polite with people who are in a good mood. You will feel jealous if you are not acquainted with happy people. Your envy stems from the fact that someone else is happier than you. But if you own them, if you know they are yours, you will not be envious of them. You see, you are not envious of someone who is very dear to you, someone who is very similar to you. It doesn’t bother you when they’re happy. It has no impact. Jealousy arises when you believe that so and so is really happy and that they are not really related to you. Have a friendly relationship with them.
You will see the same Self in others, but the emotions will be different. It could be different for a beginner. One does not feel the same way about everyone, even though intellectually you may say, ‘It is just myself there,’ but your feeling still has preferences because it is not yet fully cultured, not fully developed in itself. So, which option would you choose? Be polite with those who are causing you problems.